Thursday, February 02, 2006

I am sad to say that I have left my heart in Ghana. As my love drove away in a car of my possession, I knew it would be too long before we would meet again. So happy would I be for the tokens of her affections! I am remined of the words to an American classic song, as my achy breaky heart is hurting much. I have no doubt that Akbar will prevail! Good mens finish first some days. As my father once told me, "Akbar, in the heat of the desert, even the sun shines on the ass of a dog some days."
Wise words indeedy.
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
I visited a friend in Morocco who introduced me to a raven haired princess from the Americas! She had traveled from afar to discover herself. This must be American thinking for sure! So silly to discover what is right in front of you!
When I professed my love, she said "Oh my GOSH! You are SO NUTTERS! Der!"
I am not sure if this means love. But Alas, my trip was cut short when I ran out of money. One cannot fritter away all their monies on trinkets and travels.
Thursday, September 22, 2005

At the party Abdul's friend Larry tried to count to ten to control his anger. He was steemy mad, and cursed at small asian children who were there. I tried to steer clear of Larry, becuse his eyes glowed red like Satan's fire, and also because he smelled of putrid cabbage.
The party was a big success, until I learned that I was to give monies to Larry. What kind of party is this, that you invited people to, and charge them for their coming?

Later, Larry put on a headset, played the wiji, and he communed with dead souls. It was creepy creepy for sure. Again his eyes were red like the blood, and he began to shriek and shout and scare the cocktail weenies out of me. I fled the scene before I joined his cult of evil worship. My apologies to Abdul.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005
At my work I saw the most beautiful princess! It was a glorious day for Akbar for sure! There I was, swiftly mopping greasy greasy when I looked up and our eyes, they met! She paused between eating her fourth and fifth cheesy burger, belched, and looked up at me. She waved me over, and I was like a floaty cloud. The birdies chirped and the harp music played. I knew it was the love for sure. She motioned for me to bend down to her, and she whispered to me these sweet words: "Get me more ketchup, would ya'?"I could hardly believe how Allah provided! I quickly sprung to action, opening packets of ketchup and squirting them on the super fries as she devoured them. Once she bit my finger but it was my fault for being so slow! Then I refilled her super soda and got her more napkins for her glorious face! This is the best day of Akbar yet!
Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Today I am most happy to have found my first job! It is at a most glorious palace, with fried foodies everywhere. I was given a hat and a mop, and I clean the greasy greasy from the floor. Sometimes they get three inches full of greasy on the floor! It is slippery, but oh so tastey. And the France fries are straight from Allah. My god are they delicious!
I was torn, because I was also offered another job. A man named Deano offered me something called the Chief of Staffers, with the Minnesota DFL. They called themselves Democrat Farmer Laborors, but they don't have many farms in the city, for sure! At least the golden arches knows their business, which is fatty beef, not rotten pork!
Be careful if you see this man. He has many tricky tricks, and lies like no other! When he first offered his job, he told me we were close to making a deal, and he sneaks off and tells my boss I am trying to quit him! A two facer for sure! Then he uses the bathroom and makes the Macdonalds smell like pooh! I had to clean it, and I almost died, but for my ability to hold my breath. I was so upset I only ate three orders of France fries that day! But then I had a happy meal, which does the trick every time!
Thursday, September 01, 2005

This man threw some fried foodies at me. He made me to yell. They burned my tongue, but oh so tastey. I love to eat them off the ground!
Also, with ketchup they are divine! Cheesy Greasy!
The best place at the stately fair is in the barns. They have many kinds of animals, but nothing so nice as the hairy alpaca. I now have my own shirty, which says I love Alpacas!
Also, I like the piggies. They remind me of my home. Smelly like sweat and pooh.
If you come to the fair, you may see me drinking the milk at the booth. For only 75 cents, I can drink a million cup fulls. What a country you have. Cheers to the country of Minnesota!

